Stuck in a cycle of breakups and makeups? Here’s why…

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We've all been in a relationship that just can't seem to make up its mind.

One day you're together, the next day you're broken up, and a week later you're back on again.

While this cycle of breakups and makeups can be exhausting, it's actually more common than you might think.

According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, a whopping 37% of cohabiting couples and 23% of married couples have experienced a breakup and then gotten back together with their current partner. That's a lot of people stuck in a cycle of uncertainty!

So why does this happen and what are the consequences of being in an on-again, off-again relationship?

The same research suggests that couples who experience breakups and makeup during the dating phase are more likely to continue this pattern into cohabitation and even marriage.

It’s not just a matter of "oh, we're just figuring things out". The reality is that on-again, off-again relationships are often marked by lower quality and more uncertainty.

In fact, couples who have experienced breakups and makeup report being less satisfied in their relationships and having more uncertainty about their future together.

What can you do if you're stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship?

According to Psychology Today, you can start by taking a step back and evaluating your relationship. Are you truly happy, or are you just holding on because it's comfortable or familiar?

Next, consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who can help you and your partner work through your issues and develop healthier communication patterns.

Finally, remember that it's okay to walk away if the relationship is no longer serving you.

It's better to be single and happy than stuck in a cycle of breakups and makeups.
26 Feb 2025 English South Africa Society & Culture · Personal Journals

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